This Christmas

He came.

That is itself amazing.

Just those two words.

If I take the time to stop and focus on each one... the implications are astounding.

First, "He" - THE One. The One who was there from the beginning. The One through Whom all things were made and hold together. He was and is IT. The only One who could create us. The only One who could save us. HE...

"CAME" - He didn't just reach a hand down or just speak a command, He came. He grew in a human form for 9 months and came, flesh of Our flesh, with the breath of God Almighty.

Humble. Lowly. Unrecognized. Purposeful. Divine. Holy. Small but so Great.

Living, breathing, growing, familiar with our struggles from the start. But perfect, Holy spotless, able to take our punishment. HE CAME.

He stepped in. Fully. Lived out a life. Fully.

That night angels came to proclaim the wonder that was taking place. They proclaimed glad tidings to Earth.

*" 'Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Our World today is not filled with peace or "goodwill" towards men. But neither was the world Jesus came into.

He came into a world of scared Kings with murderous hearts. He came to danger, to dirt, to a world that didn't understand, to a world that rejected Him...

He came to a world that has eyes but cannot see, ears but cannot hear. He came with HOPE-something we all need. He came to *proclaim good news to the poor, freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, and to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor...

So the angels proclaimed peace into what was a turbulent situation. But, God was on the scene, He who IS Peace has COME. Therefore, we have peace, He brought it and He gave it. Not as the World gives**...

Christmas was the night that peace came.

Peace spoken over a world in chaos. Peace for the hearts wandering, empty, lonely, looking for Truth.

On Christmas Peace CAME TO STAY.

Peace Himself came to bridge the gap between us and God. We who accept Him are now AT peace with God. Forever.

Peace was truly "on earth" when

HE CAME.

*Luke 2, Luke 4 NIV

** John 14:27

Alive

I feel alive when I have hope, when I look up, when I have purpose, when I think of what CAN BE.

I feel dead when I seem stuck in a monotonous cycle...Working for what will not last. Living shackled to paper this world blows away.

I want purpose.

I want Hope.

Not glamour, But purpose. Hope.

I want You.

You don't end. Your purposes don't end because of our "failed" dreams.

Your Hope endures forever.

I want to live with Hope, with expectancy, with faith.

Where the past doesn't live in today.

Give me

Give me a life filled with purpose

rather than a life filled with with parties.

Give me a life full of inward vigor

rather than outward glamour.

Give me a life that arouses the applause and rejoicing of Heaven

over the praises of men.

Ultimate Goals

Even if you call yourself a "Christian", if your ultimate goal of life is to be a "musician" or an "artist" or a "thinker" or a "you-fill-in-the-blank"

than you will conform more and more into the mold of that person or profession.

Even if you have "Christian _____" tagged in front of what you want to be, you will still conform to what is expected, or accepted or popular, or just "the thing" to do...

However, we as "Christians" are not called to be "Christian musicians" or "Christian Artists" as if it were some kind of title... we are called to be DISCIPLES.

We are called to become conformed more and more to the image of Christ.

A disciple's actions and morals are not shaped by the culture or country they live in. Their beliefs of what is acceptable are not shaped by those around them. Their image is not shaped by the mold of their profession. Their beliefs, values, their very person is shaped by the Word of God. Which doesn't change and will not pass away.

Many Christians don't like to accept the fact that Christ's ways are very different, usually polar opposite of the world.

How can we be successful in the world if we don't accept it's ways?

Well, #1. If your ultimate goal is to be successful in this world, than you are living for the wrong purpose, the wrong time and place! And you haven't caught what it means to be a disciple.

and #2. God's ways are HIGHER than our ways. All things exist through Him, for Him and because of Him. If we can't trust in Him to have the best, the highest quality designs, ideas etc, etc, then who is there to trust?

We are called to be disciples...

tonight

I feel most alone when I'm with you

'cause you shut me out and tear me down

just when I'm trying to break through

O I try to be strong

O I try to be strong

Try to stay true, try to be me.

How is it that I'm still the one with nobody?

Is it really me, or is it really them?

O I try to be strong

O I try to be strong

It's hard not to fall and run after what might love me for just a little while.

Make me feel wanted, held... not alone.

Wondering , "Do you see me for me?"

My outside is crumbling,

my insides aren't working right

How am I then, supposed to be me?

Nothing I do is fixing this

when will You, please start fixing this?

O I try to be strong.

O I try and try and try to be so strong.

Oh the things we do not to be alone.

Oh, when it feels like nobody knows.

Oh, when it feels like no one else feels the same...

Oh! I said! I said! "oh, and if they are all like that, I will STILL HAVE YOU... I will still have You."

I know you're here cause I can see your whispers, even tho I'd like a shout, I'm hanging on.

O I still have you.

But, I feel so alone.

O I try to be so strong...

tears are falling from the right out of all this pain in my sight.

All I thought was You wasn't right,

Thankful for the fallback,

but looking for the next steps in sight.

Oh God, uncloud my eyes and take every self centered ambition from me.

But, please, I just don't want to be misunderstood, alone, ostracized...

O I try to be...

Announcement

Everyone, my awesome, amazing, fantastic, one-of-a-kind

Mom just started her own blog!

Find it here: rochellebader.wordpress.com

Read. Follow. Respond.

♥♥♥

ONE is 100%

Last January I wrote this post:

http://i--am--not.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-started-off-this-year-by-attending.html about DO SOMETHING NOW.

Tonight I heard the Do Something Now thrust for Passion 2012 (And if you don't know what that is - it's basically a generation of college students choosing to live to make Jesus famous, The passion conference is January 2-5 2012 at the GA Dome - BE. THERE.) Anywho, the trust for next year's Do Something Now is all for human slaves.

There are 27 Million slaves in the world.

This is a huge, huge number.

When I hear about sex trafficking, it is mind boggling how wide spread it is. It is right in our very city, not all the way around the globe!

This could seen unsurmountable.

I hear people talking about "ending" sex trafficking.

yes, yes, I want that! But... it seems so overwhelming...

When I feel overwhelmed in life, it's natural for me to take a step back, rather than push forward.

But, we can't just stand by and do nothing...

Than I realized, if we rescued ONE person, it might look like we are just scratching the surface...

It might look as tho it were only 1/1000th of the problem solved, but for that ONE person, it is 100%. It is everything, it is their entire world. Their entire life has been changed.

Jesus said all of heaven rejoices over ONE lost soul that comes to life.

Jesus, in this massive world, full of faces we wiz by everyday,

teach us the value you see in ONE life.

The difference that we (ONE),

can make for them (ONE).

So, today I started collecting... every ONE means something.

We are headed to the dome in January and we won't be empty-handed.

You can give here: http://dosomethingnow.com/ Check it out.

the passed over under an overpass

To all the passed-over.

Laying under an overpass.

All your broken hearts...

You've watched your dreams

roll and

fall and

crash

like an old beer bottle on dirty pavement.

Too many pieces.

Too hurtful.

Too dangerous to sort through.

Too impossible to be new.

So, we speak through this art.

Truth craftily disguised, a cover, a comforter to wounded, prideful souls.

Now it's vulnerable.

It's open.

All the things that can't be said in regular word-by-words.

But, nobody really knows. Sometimes that's a lie, sometimes the opposite.

O to go back to the days of possibility.

Leave

all the questions

the pressure

bending and breaking

Black and white blending into grey

Grass is dying, color's fading, light blinding eyes.

We've grown too thirsty in this desert

Too cold in this frost...

Is life buried deep beneath withered, frozen, broken forever?

Green is brown, black is grey...

Destroy

It began long ago...

when darkness,

through it's deceit

captured the hearts

of the sons and daughters of light.

We looked for light...

but we found only darkness.

We searched for bright skies...

but walked in gloom.

We fumbled like the blind along the wall,

feeling our way like people without eyes!...

We were destined to fall.

Even in the brightest days...

We stumbled as if it were dark.

Among the living we were like the dead.

We looked for justice, but it never came.

We looked for rescue but it was far from us...

So He,

Himself

stepped in to save us...

,,,with his long arm and justice to sustain him.

He put on righteousness as armor,

salvation his helmet.

He clothed himself with the robe of vengeance

and rapped himself in a cloak of divine passion...

He slipped out of his royal garments,

left eternity to enter time,

divinity to wrap himself in humanity.

The sea of glass... for the ocean of separation,

he left peace, and for the first time felt pain.

Because the very hands that held the stars, were now sentenced to wear

my scars.

It was love!...that purchased this traitors heart.

It's what the prophets spoke about when they envisioned

light living in men once again......

For this reason, I am legend!... predestined for greatness,

build for the final hour.

I was born for this!...with weapons in hand,

armor in place,

I now march to the beat of a different drum.

I will break through

battle lines that have been drawn

by discouragement and despair.

What more is left to be said?

Time has met its end.

It's now or never.

Collision with me, myself and I.

You see, my mission today is clear, awake the dead.

So let freedom's song rage.

"You're not abandoned!"

"You're not alone!"

Last day warriors, arise from yesterday's ash

and raise your fist with us.

We are the army that is charging upon the land.

Defeat is no longer and option.

In His victory...

we stand,

we stand.

We rise.

We give our lives.

We stand...

we rise...

we give our lives!

- Destroy, Worth Dying For

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWkgfRi3Bkg

Psalm 27

waiting on the world to change

You know those seasons in life when you wish you where somewhere else? While you wish to be in another season and it's easy to go day after day just "waiting for your boat to come in"... just thinking about when life will be "different". I've been there lately. I don't hate where I am right now. But I would love to be somewhere else. It's easy, as I go about my work and my everyday routine, to wish things were different. Wish I was there... wish I had this... Just waiting on the world to change. It's easy to feel like the everydays in these seasons are insignificant and simply something one must go through before they actually "make it". But, God is a God of purpose and he can definitely see significance in insignificance. So, instead of wishing away this season my life, the ultimate goal (of bringing my creator glory), is better served by me surrendering to HIS purpose for every day. It is better served, if I choose to recognize His purposes exist, if I ask for my eyes to be open to those purposes and I live for something bigger than myself even in the mundane. If He is a God of purpose, He can see purpose in everything and He can make my everyday count.

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

Just felt the need to say thanks. For so much.

You do so much for me that I don't even see and so much that I forget to thank you for.

How did I ever get someone like you?

Amazing that I didn't even find you, instead, you found me.

Thanks for always being there for me. Even though sometimes I ignore you. I act out of some old bad habits, but you already know why. Sometimes I just make the wrong choices. Sometimes I try to do life without you and I think I'm okay... and then I realize how dull I can be, how stupid.

Still you're always there, the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Thanks for always listening, even when I don't talk to you, and I should. Thank you for listening to my heart. Thank you for listening to what is going on around me and making me aware. You're always looking out for me.

You've given so much already, but you keep on giving. You have no selfish motives. I never have to question your intentions. You are the truest.

What makes someone truly beautiful to me is who they are on the inside... their character.

Although I haven't seen you yet, I know you're beautiful.

We've been on this path for a while now, but it's a short journey compared to others.

I know you have far to take me yet. It's a relief to know that you will never be the one to leave.

Let me be courageous enough to stay by your side.

Thanks that I never have to be self-conscious around you.

I know you don't look at me with judging eyes.

I've told you how just one friend is all I want, thanks for never misunderstanding me. I never have to explain or think twice. Help me remember not to discount you!

Thanks for continuing to work on my behalf, even when I've given you the cold shoulder.

Thanks for not judging me even when I'm judging you.

Thanks for not treating me as I deserve.

Thanks for covering for me when I looked stupid.

Thanks for holding my hand when I was walking alone.

Only you will ever know how much I need you.

Thankfully, you can see my heart, so you truly know the difference you've made.

I'm glad our relationship won't end in death.

Your death opened the door and your life makes mine a reality.

Thank you, Jesus.

Love,

Anna

the long road

I've been waiting a long time for some...

and even longer for others.

Every time I start to feel bad, I kick myself, because I know others have it worse off than I do.

But, honestly, right now, all I have is faith.

It seems like it won't ever change.

Simply because I can't see hope.

I don't see growth or health or change.

So, It's hard when you can't find the answer to your problem.

Can't seem to fix it.

It's on your mind. all. the. time.

Cause you don't feel like yourself.

People don't know.

Even you don't realize anymore...

But, it's a pressure on your chest.

Please, please, I can't fix it.

Please, please, let me be whole again.

Please, let me see some hope.

walking with new eyes

Had a wake up call today. Thank you God, that I have two arms legs and two legs; a heart that works and a liver that works. Thank you that a still have hair.

Thank you God, for those who don't. Thank you God for those who live without something I take for granted and are better people in spite of their "disability", They love more, appreciate more, and have better attitudes.

My physical issues seem to ruin my world, but really, they are so small and insignificant because I have so much to be grateful for...

We think they're the ones who have it all, we feel pity when we see them, but who really has the fuller life? Who lives life to the full potential? Is it those who have full use of their limbs or those whose hearts are free? When will we learn the outside is just a shell and spending all our time on the exterior doesn't change anything in the grand scheme of things? But, still when I see those, these words came to my mind, " I can't wait for the day when every lame leg will walk"... In your presence. Walking with new eyes, Anna (INSPIRED by: a girl in a electric wheelchair who seemed much more satisfied than the kids with two strong limbs...)

World War

It's like trying not to see

all of the marquees

walking down a narrow street

all the flashing lights are blinding and

skyscrapers are closing in

It's like drowning slowly

water rising till it's feet over your head

your thoughts channelled into the pull of the undertow

same as everybody else

where is the truth that you should know?

It's like chugging the bottle

or giving into the sleep

or taking it through an I.V.

seeping into your pores

comes at you fast

kills you slowly

WHAT IF we shut off all the messages of this world?

What if our minds were truly rewired to think differently?

This is a command - what if I took this seriously?

"Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]." rom12:2AMP

Stuff seeps in.

Our minds are clouded by the messages SCREAMING every day. It's in front of our eyes our ears, yet we are supposed to reach beyond this tangible life.

What they say is okay, is not okay.

I am preaching to myself.

Sometimes we don't even realize how we have been shaped to think until the truth comes and hits us SMACK in the face.

What a tragedy it is going to be to finish this life only to see how warped our thoughts, therefore our beliefs and actions became! What a tragedy to see what falsities we became!

To see what we missed out on becoming... what we missed out on changing.

WHILE we have THE Truth. The One and Only!

Yes, this world's prince, this darkness, seems oh, so powerful. Oh so cunning, oh, so strong...

Yet, we do not have to be overcome.

But, if we just sit back, defeat is inevitable.

You won't even know what you've become until it's too late.

It's easy to slide on by on, "Everyone else is doing it!" But, watch any movie, even the world knows it takes someone DIFFERENT, someone often MISUNDERSTOOD to CHANGE. the. WORLD!

It's all-too-easy to say "I'm too busy".

Because the world is out there, right here at our fingers, ALL AROUND and regeneration takes EFFORT.

I'm not saying it's easy or fast... But, if I know it's worth much, I have to be willing to give, to go after it, why do I keep making excuses?

This is about WHO I AM.

Why can we preach the truth so well, when our lives don't look like we believe what we explain with such eloquence?

So, what would our lives be like if we decided to look differently. Let go of everything. Become new creations. Not stop seeking. Go after the new, hold onto truth. Turn our eyes away from all the lies, sugar coated...

What if we...

Stopped living for ourselves.

Started serving without thought of gain, status, reputation, or the deservance of others.

Stopped feeding ourselves whatever feels good.

Stopped making excuses.

...Just Surrendered.

Didn't grow tired in "well doing".

I don't want to fall back when it's time to rally.

I don't want to miss making history just because I was tired and dillutioned. It doesn't matter how I feel. It matters how I believed, and what I did with it.

If this is war and I've picked a side, maybe I should wear my uniform, learn my weaponry and get into training... and winning.

it's all about... me?

After spending the majority of my time these past weeks with children, it got me thinking...

Kids are so selfish!
It seems they think the world revolves (or OUGHT TO revolve around them!).

We adults know this self-exhaultation is an immature and nìeve concept, right?

Or do we?

If maturity is realizing, "it's actually not all about me."
If maturity is looking out for the concerns of others, than how does this parallel my Christian walk?

How many of us think we are mature in our walk with God, however, we still think like children? We still act like, "It's all about me."

Many times, I think this egotistical mindset comes because, we all have a need to be accepted, loved, and sought after. For many of us, that need was not met somewhere along the way. In our constant quest to fill that need, we become selfish and we act out of our insecurities.

We may know that the world doesn't revolve around us, but we don't feel loved, valued or celebrated, therefore we consistently draw attention to ourselves.

Not only would a person like this be hard to live with (and actually drive people away from them!) in the real world, but a person like this spiritually would fail to fulfill God's full potential for their life.

It is all about sacrifice.
It is not about me.
Yet...
First, I must see this unconditional love that Christ offers, or I will never overcome my insecurities.
True change is change of the heart, not the actions.

The power of the cross is the amazing power of change. Not the power TO change alone. But the power to BE CHANGED.

I can't rid myself of insecurities through self-help and positive thoughts alone. There will always be someone who tries to tear me down; there will be something that tries to take me backwards. So how can I live selflessly? How can I live the way God intended, the way he commands?
How can I be a true follower?

Only through the power of Christ.
It not only enables me to change.
But, it does the changing I cannot do!
It enables me to die to self and live in the truest joy!

If I come and surrender. Believe. And allow myself to be filled up, then, I can be an instrument for His gospel.
My goal won't be to be accepted or noticed or praised. I won't be after attention to fill the holes in my life.
I will look more like Jesus who honored the Father every day and became the servant of all!
He came not to be served, but to serve.

That's how I should come everyday.
I still don't... too often, I act like this life; this Jesus is all about me...

I'd like to think I'm a mature adult Christian, but I'd rather see who I really am. Even if that's just a kid who's learning, I'm infinitely loved and treasured.
Jews wants to be number #1, He wants me to trust Him with childlike faith.
In the maturity, I never want to lose the child that trusts, loves and believes.

Jesus, I believe, help me with my unbelief.

On the journey,

Anna

all the unnoticed

I know what it's like to sit and wonder

"If I'm not there, would they even notice?"

and know that they wouldn't care.

All the unnoticed, put your hands up

All you misunderstood

All of you whose hearts are bleeding out

I am one of you.

All who feel alone, everywhere.

All who want to feel again.

To know somebody cares.

To trust in arms that reach out for you.

Hoping that one day, that dream could come true.

You're not hoping for a rainbow, but just one gleam of sun.

Take another chance now. Go ahead and take a bow!

Believe we're beautiful even in our doubts.

Believe we can, we will, we must... Believe.

All the unnoticed, put your hands up

All you misunderstood

All of you whose hearts are bleeding out

I am one of you.

To all who would say, "I am in pain", if you could just be honest.

It doesn't make you any less stronger.

If they slap you down again.

Just get back up, you're stronger than they know.

Believe we're beautiful even in our doubts.

Believe we can, we will, we must... Believe

power of music

The power of music is just blowing my mind.

What is it about music that is so powerful?

It changes things; sets ideas in motion.

It puts words in people's mouths and melodies in their heads...

Music defines moments, decades, memories, countries, styles and beliefs.

It is universal, yet personal.

The kind of influence that music brings is unreal.

Set words to music and people will sing it, little 5-year-olds will sing words even while they don't comprehend what they are saying.

Why?

All because the words were set to music.

What a powerful tool!

Those in the industry have such a tool to use!

I want that kind of influence!

Artists can write something extremely personal - it can be sad, happy, melancholy, angry, revengeful, gleeful... and other people, who have no idea what was truly felt during the birthing of the song, connect with the song in highly personal ways, it becomes THEIR anthem.

...Thousands of people connecting with something. Thousands of people from all different places, beliefs, and backgrounds proclaiming the same words.

All because they were put to music.

...Because those words were presented to a world full of people looking to relate, looking to be understood, looking for hope, entertainment, something to connect with; something to rally around.

We have been given the amazing ability to express ourselves. The power of sounds and lyrics on people and our history is fascinating to me lately.

With the mighty influence and voice that comes with a musical platform, comes even the ability to perpetrate the idea that you DON'T need a microphone to have a "voice":

"I don't need a microphone/ to say what I've been thinkin'/

my heart is like a loudspeaker/ that's always on eleven/

...Sometimes all it takes is one voice..."

what a dichotomy.

What a phenomenon...

The power of music

It's time

"This is your life/ are you who you want to be?"

Am I who I want to be?

no.

Given, I do tend to see the bad things about me and feel guilty focusing on the good.

But, still, I can do this.

I am not alone.

Even though it feels like it.

I've got You, and that's all I'll ever need.

Now, if I can just live like that is true...because, it sure is.

Give me strength to move ahead, not backwards and down.

Give me strength to go against the flow.

Give me strength to desire Your will, not mine.

"Above all else I crave for innocence and purity and even though it’s rarely around, it’s indeed right in front of my eyes and the trick is to see it. So what am I waiting for? It’s time to stop waiting. Because loving the world is the same as hating God. The equation is obvious. It’s time to change."

-Adam Young

It's my life.

Any choice, or ability, I only have because God chose to give it to me.

so... "what am I waiting for? It's time to stop waiting...

It's time to change."

it's ticking

Seconds to minutes 
Minutes to hours
Hours to days 
Days to weeks
Weeks to months
Months to years
Years to...a lifetime
A lifetime to...
eternity

Sometimes minutes decide the rest of your earthy existence; If you let the moment when someone wounded you define you for the rest of your life.

Sometimes moments (seconds) 
Define eternity (forever).

Time is ticking
Every second does count.

azure celestial sphere

I have to avoid being so caught up in wanting love that I forget the things I do love that are gifts every single day?

the wind.

i love it.

it is exhilarating.

the sky.

i love it.

It's fascinating to me.

I could take pictures of just the sky and be happy except for the fact that the camera never really captures the full effect of the grander!