Leaving, going, following, coming...

While some are sad to see me go, some are excited to see me come.

I can swing to either side; time-to-time.

Somewhere in the middle. Not seeing the end of the road, but, hoping, believing.

With You, how can hope be ever lost?

I want to be willing to give up everything-in the good and the bad...

For Your higher ways, Your better ways.

He has overcome all. He sees all, He knows all. Joy is to trust in Him.

so... "Take this life and LET IT SHINE/

I lay me down/I'm not my own/

I belong to You alone/

Lay me down/Lay me down/

Hand on my heart/This much is true/

There's no life apart from You/Lay me down/Lay me down...

It would be my JOY to say/

Your Will! Your Way!/

ALWAYS!"

Following You, Jesus. I'm going from this place, let Your will be done!

Stronger, going out with joy and being led forth with peace...

As long as I go with You, I am okay.

So let them think what they like, you remain unchanged.

Let them say what they may, keep my eyes on your face...

Take this life and let it shine.

Take this life and LET IT SHINE! Wherever you may lead!

Jesus.

Jesus.

For some people it's just another name. For others it's an object of distain.

For a lot of us we claim to have met Him. We say we know Him. We say we love Him.

But do I really know Him? I don't mean to read about Him, I don't mean to have just met Him, not just to believe in His death and resurrection. All of which are vital and important. But, I mean to KNOW Him, so well that I see all too clearly how very OTHER He is from me. To KNOW Him so that I might know when my heart is looking more like His. To feel His passions, His heart...

This "knowing" is not head-knowledge, but heart-living.

It requires time and energy, it requires a thirst for something beyond what many Christians settle into (btw, Christianity was never a "religion" for settling down... but that's another blog.), it requires a revelation of Jesus by the Holy Spirit. And I daresay, it's not a one time experience alone.

What good is the gospel unless we KNOW Jesus?

Today I read this book (all 218 pages) in it's entirely.

It's written by Bruce Marchiano, who portrays Jesus in the film Matthew ( a 4 hour word-for-word film of Jesus life, according to Matthew.)

In the book, like the film, you walk away with "Jesus", way more than you walk away with "Bruce".

Like I said, I read this in one day. I laughed out loud, I cried and then I cried from laughing again.

I would tell anyone to read this book, to watch the film, to do both and gain the full affect... there is so much that is prompted by reading this book. It shows so much insight into the character of God.

The personal concern of God of every aspect of one's life who is following His will is seen, sometimes even in humorous ways.

Oh the Love of God is a main focus, for how could one play the role of Jesus without love?

A Jesus without love is just another man with big talk...

Jesus WAS Love. He is Love. He embodies LOVE in the purest sense of the word, man to man, man to woman, man to child. Jesus Loves people. Really truly loves them.

Bruce tries to convey deepness of the Love of GOD as saying take the person you love most in life (your child, if no children, then whoever you love most) and multiply that a billion times over and then, maybe, just maybe you'll begin to scratch the surface of God's Love for one of His kids...

I don't know about you, but my heart can't handle that, it would literally explode. Just thinking about it, I feel within my chest, I cannot contain it.

Yet, I need to know it, I want to know it.

I want to believe and understand (as best as I can!), with true HEART understanding, not HEAD understanding, His Love.

When something is that big, we think we understand it, because frankly we don't understand it, so most people just tuck it into their brains in the "I know God loves me" part, but if they, if we ever REALLY got His Love. We'd live differently and I'm convinced we'd see every other person differently. This difference is knowledge of the head vs. knowledge of the heart.

Honestly, I don't think our brains will ever wrap around the immenseness of His Love. Oh, until we get to heaven, surrounded in the Love of God, you will not judge your neighbor, there will be no insecurities, no worship of self, or of idols, and there will be no holding back.

Every way in which we can express Love, adoration, affection will be flung towards Him in worship forever. Because the worship never stops, it can't stop... He is so big the revelation of Him will keep coming and coming. Oh the party of a thousand years!

Repeatedly in "In the Footsteps of Jesus", it is written,

"He loves you.

He loves you so much."

Ah.

To be like Him is to love like Him. I cannot love others without a revelation of His love for me and for them. Being anxious about the fact that I have some sort of blockage to understanding or receiving His Love in it's fulness does not solve the issue. The revelation comes from seeking, it comes straight from Him. It's supernatural.

One can sing a thousand times "How He loves us/Oh how He loves us" and still not get it.

But show me a life of someone who knows His love and there is something different. There is something free, because perfect Love really does drive out fear.

To know Jesus, to know His heart - His Love. Isn't that what this is all about anyway?

blown away...

This Christmas

He came.

That is itself amazing.

Just those two words.

If I take the time to stop and focus on each one... the implications are astounding.

First, "He" - THE One. The One who was there from the beginning. The One through Whom all things were made and hold together. He was and is IT. The only One who could create us. The only One who could save us. HE...

"CAME" - He didn't just reach a hand down or just speak a command, He came. He grew in a human form for 9 months and came, flesh of Our flesh, with the breath of God Almighty.

Humble. Lowly. Unrecognized. Purposeful. Divine. Holy. Small but so Great.

Living, breathing, growing, familiar with our struggles from the start. But perfect, Holy spotless, able to take our punishment. HE CAME.

He stepped in. Fully. Lived out a life. Fully.

That night angels came to proclaim the wonder that was taking place. They proclaimed glad tidings to Earth.

*" 'Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,

and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

Our World today is not filled with peace or "goodwill" towards men. But neither was the world Jesus came into.

He came into a world of scared Kings with murderous hearts. He came to danger, to dirt, to a world that didn't understand, to a world that rejected Him...

He came to a world that has eyes but cannot see, ears but cannot hear. He came with HOPE-something we all need. He came to *proclaim good news to the poor, freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, and to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor...

So the angels proclaimed peace into what was a turbulent situation. But, God was on the scene, He who IS Peace has COME. Therefore, we have peace, He brought it and He gave it. Not as the World gives**...

Christmas was the night that peace came.

Peace spoken over a world in chaos. Peace for the hearts wandering, empty, lonely, looking for Truth.

On Christmas Peace CAME TO STAY.

Peace Himself came to bridge the gap between us and God. We who accept Him are now AT peace with God. Forever.

Peace was truly "on earth" when

HE CAME.

*Luke 2, Luke 4 NIV

** John 14:27

Alive

I feel alive when I have hope, when I look up, when I have purpose, when I think of what CAN BE.

I feel dead when I seem stuck in a monotonous cycle...Working for what will not last. Living shackled to paper this world blows away.

I want purpose.

I want Hope.

Not glamour, But purpose. Hope.

I want You.

You don't end. Your purposes don't end because of our "failed" dreams.

Your Hope endures forever.

I want to live with Hope, with expectancy, with faith.

Where the past doesn't live in today.

Give me

Give me a life filled with purpose

rather than a life filled with with parties.

Give me a life full of inward vigor

rather than outward glamour.

Give me a life that arouses the applause and rejoicing of Heaven

over the praises of men.

Ultimate Goals

Even if you call yourself a "Christian", if your ultimate goal of life is to be a "musician" or an "artist" or a "thinker" or a "you-fill-in-the-blank"

than you will conform more and more into the mold of that person or profession.

Even if you have "Christian _____" tagged in front of what you want to be, you will still conform to what is expected, or accepted or popular, or just "the thing" to do...

However, we as "Christians" are not called to be "Christian musicians" or "Christian Artists" as if it were some kind of title... we are called to be DISCIPLES.

We are called to become conformed more and more to the image of Christ.

A disciple's actions and morals are not shaped by the culture or country they live in. Their beliefs of what is acceptable are not shaped by those around them. Their image is not shaped by the mold of their profession. Their beliefs, values, their very person is shaped by the Word of God. Which doesn't change and will not pass away.

Many Christians don't like to accept the fact that Christ's ways are very different, usually polar opposite of the world.

How can we be successful in the world if we don't accept it's ways?

Well, #1. If your ultimate goal is to be successful in this world, than you are living for the wrong purpose, the wrong time and place! And you haven't caught what it means to be a disciple.

and #2. God's ways are HIGHER than our ways. All things exist through Him, for Him and because of Him. If we can't trust in Him to have the best, the highest quality designs, ideas etc, etc, then who is there to trust?

We are called to be disciples...

tonight

I feel most alone when I'm with you

'cause you shut me out and tear me down

just when I'm trying to break through

O I try to be strong

O I try to be strong

Try to stay true, try to be me.

How is it that I'm still the one with nobody?

Is it really me, or is it really them?

O I try to be strong

O I try to be strong

It's hard not to fall and run after what might love me for just a little while.

Make me feel wanted, held... not alone.

Wondering , "Do you see me for me?"

My outside is crumbling,

my insides aren't working right

How am I then, supposed to be me?

Nothing I do is fixing this

when will You, please start fixing this?

O I try to be strong.

O I try and try and try to be so strong.

Oh the things we do not to be alone.

Oh, when it feels like nobody knows.

Oh, when it feels like no one else feels the same...

Oh! I said! I said! "oh, and if they are all like that, I will STILL HAVE YOU... I will still have You."

I know you're here cause I can see your whispers, even tho I'd like a shout, I'm hanging on.

O I still have you.

But, I feel so alone.

O I try to be so strong...

tears are falling from the right out of all this pain in my sight.

All I thought was You wasn't right,

Thankful for the fallback,

but looking for the next steps in sight.

Oh God, uncloud my eyes and take every self centered ambition from me.

But, please, I just don't want to be misunderstood, alone, ostracized...

O I try to be...

Announcement

Everyone, my awesome, amazing, fantastic, one-of-a-kind

Mom just started her own blog!

Find it here: rochellebader.wordpress.com

Read. Follow. Respond.

♥♥♥

ONE is 100%

Last January I wrote this post:

http://i--am--not.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-started-off-this-year-by-attending.html about DO SOMETHING NOW.

Tonight I heard the Do Something Now thrust for Passion 2012 (And if you don't know what that is - it's basically a generation of college students choosing to live to make Jesus famous, The passion conference is January 2-5 2012 at the GA Dome - BE. THERE.) Anywho, the trust for next year's Do Something Now is all for human slaves.

There are 27 Million slaves in the world.

This is a huge, huge number.

When I hear about sex trafficking, it is mind boggling how wide spread it is. It is right in our very city, not all the way around the globe!

This could seen unsurmountable.

I hear people talking about "ending" sex trafficking.

yes, yes, I want that! But... it seems so overwhelming...

When I feel overwhelmed in life, it's natural for me to take a step back, rather than push forward.

But, we can't just stand by and do nothing...

Than I realized, if we rescued ONE person, it might look like we are just scratching the surface...

It might look as tho it were only 1/1000th of the problem solved, but for that ONE person, it is 100%. It is everything, it is their entire world. Their entire life has been changed.

Jesus said all of heaven rejoices over ONE lost soul that comes to life.

Jesus, in this massive world, full of faces we wiz by everyday,

teach us the value you see in ONE life.

The difference that we (ONE),

can make for them (ONE).

So, today I started collecting... every ONE means something.

We are headed to the dome in January and we won't be empty-handed.

You can give here: http://dosomethingnow.com/ Check it out.

For Israel

Today, when typically I would be driving for work, I was in a quiet house, turned on the TV and was able to hear Benjamin Netanyahu address the UN this afternoon.

Frankly, it was one of the best "political" speeches I have ever heard.

I'm angry reading all of the tweets from today of people bashing Israel.

I feel like people are always criticizing the things that are right. I hate that!

I want to believe beyond doubts what is true.

I want to rely on God's revelation of truth and not peoples many varying opinions!

I have so much respect for Benjamin Netanyahu. Lord, give Him wisdom and grace.

He speaks so frankly and genuinely. Unlike politicians, he seems so transparent.

His entire speech had me captivated and I am so grateful I was able to hear it.

I would have just gone on busily with my day, forgetting about this crucial moment in the middle east. And it's amazing how many people don't know what is going on, and who just lived their lives... oblivious, as this vital moment in history passed.

We all make history every day. Some more publicly than others.

This should not be a quote just for a speech made today, but rather a statement for life:

"I did not come here to win applause, I came to speak the truth."

- Benjamin Netanyahu

and then he spoke and quoted what he was told before he came to begin serving by representing in the UN:

"you will be serving in a house of many lies.

But, remember that even in the darkest place,

the light of a single candle

can be seen far and wide."

Thank you Lord, that truth and character are not completely forgotten or abandoned even tho it looks dark. Darkness accuses and attacks.

Hope will not be forsaken.

heritage. history. honor. I AM.

hope.

And I will dwell among the children of Israel,

and will not forsake my people Israel.

1 Kings 6:13