prospect

 

you sit and slowly they fill until they overflow
your cheeks feel stiff
from the salt.
release

the mix of hope and fear is
in your chest and in your core




hope came seeping out of your fingers, your mind, your heart
fear comes creeping around your fingers, your mind, your heart


the biggest leap
could mean the hardest fall
your hands go cold just thinking about it

can the craziest thing you've ever done
feel like the sanest thing you've ever done?

you want it more than anything else.
but if you're alone in holding the reasons
how can it ever be?

how can something here-&-now affect your past, your present
and
your future

so, i can't let it go
not that way
not without taking the risk
i'll let it go
pour it out
leave it
in a place where
the wind may toss it
the rain may soak it
and it will either die or bloom

i'm worth it

you're worth it

is this worth it?

Anomaly

Inspired by listening to the album Anomaly by Lecrae:

norm: noun 1. a standard, model, or pattern.
                    2. general level or average

anomaly: noun 1. deviation from the common rule, type, arrangement or form
                         2. one that is abnormal or does not fit in


I never fit the norm
from day one.
Left handed turned ambidextrous.
Curly hair.

Then, I didn't grow up eating the same foods as the norm;
watching the same shows as the norm or listening to the same music as the norm.
Further pushed out of the mold.  

Faster than most; then slower than most.

All along, all I really wanted was to fit. 
even blend in.

I was always graduating early; now I'm the one graduating late.
The list goes on and on... 

Never fit the norm in looks, likes, love or the when, the wheres and hows... 

"Acceptance" becomes the hunger and the meal.

A part gets easier as you get older, but most people don't really change.
If we're honest, we know that - you can be 50 with the same insecurities as when you were fifteen. 
The longer you calcify, the tougher it is to change.

I know I'm not alone in this square-peg struggle.
I know I'm not the only one who's questioned just what makes me so different.
Or why, whoever "they" is in your personal sphere, seemed to find it so easy to overlook or forget you.
I know I'm not the only one, but the struggle is and feels intensely personal to each person.
Some wear their oddity on their shoulder - making it mainstream.
Others opt to hide or camouflage masking whatever it is that has caused rejection at the hands of the world.

The the one who loves most intensely can be labeled a hater.
The one who'd rather invest their time than waste it - labeled a loner.
The one who examines both sides of the story - labeled confused.

If you're too "bad" according the church and too "good" according to the rest of the world.
You've never fit inside the box and you probably never will... and there's more to life.
Unpopular opinions have changed the world.
The world needs friction. The world needs light.

 #TheSystemDidntPlanForThis