The feeling is akin to waiting at the edge of an open airplane. Waiting to jump.
I stand, getting pumped-up to go, then sit, contemplating easing my way out. Like dropping into a pool with your legs already in the water. Even tho waiting has both abated and increased my anticipation, I know that regardless of sitting or standing-the moment I push off-everything changes.
I know it's going to happen; I'm going to take the leap.
I am scared of the fall.
My heart is beating loudly, but it simultaneously feels like it's on pause.
The sensation of weightlessness for a moment.
Shock, suspension, exhilaration, relief - only for a moment.
I'll either fly or fall. Hard.
I've tried to tell myself that either way I'll be fine.
But, I know that's not truth.
N o t h i n g w i l l b e t h e s a m e.
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