World War

It's like trying not to see

all of the marquees

walking down a narrow street

all the flashing lights are blinding and

skyscrapers are closing in

It's like drowning slowly

water rising till it's feet over your head

your thoughts channelled into the pull of the undertow

same as everybody else

where is the truth that you should know?

It's like chugging the bottle

or giving into the sleep

or taking it through an I.V.

seeping into your pores

comes at you fast

kills you slowly

WHAT IF we shut off all the messages of this world?

What if our minds were truly rewired to think differently?

This is a command - what if I took this seriously?

"Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]." rom12:2AMP

Stuff seeps in.

Our minds are clouded by the messages SCREAMING every day. It's in front of our eyes our ears, yet we are supposed to reach beyond this tangible life.

What they say is okay, is not okay.

I am preaching to myself.

Sometimes we don't even realize how we have been shaped to think until the truth comes and hits us SMACK in the face.

What a tragedy it is going to be to finish this life only to see how warped our thoughts, therefore our beliefs and actions became! What a tragedy to see what falsities we became!

To see what we missed out on becoming... what we missed out on changing.

WHILE we have THE Truth. The One and Only!

Yes, this world's prince, this darkness, seems oh, so powerful. Oh so cunning, oh, so strong...

Yet, we do not have to be overcome.

But, if we just sit back, defeat is inevitable.

You won't even know what you've become until it's too late.

It's easy to slide on by on, "Everyone else is doing it!" But, watch any movie, even the world knows it takes someone DIFFERENT, someone often MISUNDERSTOOD to CHANGE. the. WORLD!

It's all-too-easy to say "I'm too busy".

Because the world is out there, right here at our fingers, ALL AROUND and regeneration takes EFFORT.

I'm not saying it's easy or fast... But, if I know it's worth much, I have to be willing to give, to go after it, why do I keep making excuses?

This is about WHO I AM.

Why can we preach the truth so well, when our lives don't look like we believe what we explain with such eloquence?

So, what would our lives be like if we decided to look differently. Let go of everything. Become new creations. Not stop seeking. Go after the new, hold onto truth. Turn our eyes away from all the lies, sugar coated...

What if we...

Stopped living for ourselves.

Started serving without thought of gain, status, reputation, or the deservance of others.

Stopped feeding ourselves whatever feels good.

Stopped making excuses.

...Just Surrendered.

Didn't grow tired in "well doing".

I don't want to fall back when it's time to rally.

I don't want to miss making history just because I was tired and dillutioned. It doesn't matter how I feel. It matters how I believed, and what I did with it.

If this is war and I've picked a side, maybe I should wear my uniform, learn my weaponry and get into training... and winning.

it's all about... me?

After spending the majority of my time these past weeks with children, it got me thinking...

Kids are so selfish!
It seems they think the world revolves (or OUGHT TO revolve around them!).

We adults know this self-exhaultation is an immature and nìeve concept, right?

Or do we?

If maturity is realizing, "it's actually not all about me."
If maturity is looking out for the concerns of others, than how does this parallel my Christian walk?

How many of us think we are mature in our walk with God, however, we still think like children? We still act like, "It's all about me."

Many times, I think this egotistical mindset comes because, we all have a need to be accepted, loved, and sought after. For many of us, that need was not met somewhere along the way. In our constant quest to fill that need, we become selfish and we act out of our insecurities.

We may know that the world doesn't revolve around us, but we don't feel loved, valued or celebrated, therefore we consistently draw attention to ourselves.

Not only would a person like this be hard to live with (and actually drive people away from them!) in the real world, but a person like this spiritually would fail to fulfill God's full potential for their life.

It is all about sacrifice.
It is not about me.
Yet...
First, I must see this unconditional love that Christ offers, or I will never overcome my insecurities.
True change is change of the heart, not the actions.

The power of the cross is the amazing power of change. Not the power TO change alone. But the power to BE CHANGED.

I can't rid myself of insecurities through self-help and positive thoughts alone. There will always be someone who tries to tear me down; there will be something that tries to take me backwards. So how can I live selflessly? How can I live the way God intended, the way he commands?
How can I be a true follower?

Only through the power of Christ.
It not only enables me to change.
But, it does the changing I cannot do!
It enables me to die to self and live in the truest joy!

If I come and surrender. Believe. And allow myself to be filled up, then, I can be an instrument for His gospel.
My goal won't be to be accepted or noticed or praised. I won't be after attention to fill the holes in my life.
I will look more like Jesus who honored the Father every day and became the servant of all!
He came not to be served, but to serve.

That's how I should come everyday.
I still don't... too often, I act like this life; this Jesus is all about me...

I'd like to think I'm a mature adult Christian, but I'd rather see who I really am. Even if that's just a kid who's learning, I'm infinitely loved and treasured.
Jews wants to be number #1, He wants me to trust Him with childlike faith.
In the maturity, I never want to lose the child that trusts, loves and believes.

Jesus, I believe, help me with my unbelief.

On the journey,

Anna

all the unnoticed

I know what it's like to sit and wonder

"If I'm not there, would they even notice?"

and know that they wouldn't care.

All the unnoticed, put your hands up

All you misunderstood

All of you whose hearts are bleeding out

I am one of you.

All who feel alone, everywhere.

All who want to feel again.

To know somebody cares.

To trust in arms that reach out for you.

Hoping that one day, that dream could come true.

You're not hoping for a rainbow, but just one gleam of sun.

Take another chance now. Go ahead and take a bow!

Believe we're beautiful even in our doubts.

Believe we can, we will, we must... Believe.

All the unnoticed, put your hands up

All you misunderstood

All of you whose hearts are bleeding out

I am one of you.

To all who would say, "I am in pain", if you could just be honest.

It doesn't make you any less stronger.

If they slap you down again.

Just get back up, you're stronger than they know.

Believe we're beautiful even in our doubts.

Believe we can, we will, we must... Believe

power of music

The power of music is just blowing my mind.

What is it about music that is so powerful?

It changes things; sets ideas in motion.

It puts words in people's mouths and melodies in their heads...

Music defines moments, decades, memories, countries, styles and beliefs.

It is universal, yet personal.

The kind of influence that music brings is unreal.

Set words to music and people will sing it, little 5-year-olds will sing words even while they don't comprehend what they are saying.

Why?

All because the words were set to music.

What a powerful tool!

Those in the industry have such a tool to use!

I want that kind of influence!

Artists can write something extremely personal - it can be sad, happy, melancholy, angry, revengeful, gleeful... and other people, who have no idea what was truly felt during the birthing of the song, connect with the song in highly personal ways, it becomes THEIR anthem.

...Thousands of people connecting with something. Thousands of people from all different places, beliefs, and backgrounds proclaiming the same words.

All because they were put to music.

...Because those words were presented to a world full of people looking to relate, looking to be understood, looking for hope, entertainment, something to connect with; something to rally around.

We have been given the amazing ability to express ourselves. The power of sounds and lyrics on people and our history is fascinating to me lately.

With the mighty influence and voice that comes with a musical platform, comes even the ability to perpetrate the idea that you DON'T need a microphone to have a "voice":

"I don't need a microphone/ to say what I've been thinkin'/

my heart is like a loudspeaker/ that's always on eleven/

...Sometimes all it takes is one voice..."

what a dichotomy.

What a phenomenon...

The power of music

It's time

"This is your life/ are you who you want to be?"

Am I who I want to be?

no.

Given, I do tend to see the bad things about me and feel guilty focusing on the good.

But, still, I can do this.

I am not alone.

Even though it feels like it.

I've got You, and that's all I'll ever need.

Now, if I can just live like that is true...because, it sure is.

Give me strength to move ahead, not backwards and down.

Give me strength to go against the flow.

Give me strength to desire Your will, not mine.

"Above all else I crave for innocence and purity and even though it’s rarely around, it’s indeed right in front of my eyes and the trick is to see it. So what am I waiting for? It’s time to stop waiting. Because loving the world is the same as hating God. The equation is obvious. It’s time to change."

-Adam Young

It's my life.

Any choice, or ability, I only have because God chose to give it to me.

so... "what am I waiting for? It's time to stop waiting...

It's time to change."

it's ticking

Seconds to minutes 
Minutes to hours
Hours to days 
Days to weeks
Weeks to months
Months to years
Years to...a lifetime
A lifetime to...
eternity

Sometimes minutes decide the rest of your earthy existence; If you let the moment when someone wounded you define you for the rest of your life.

Sometimes moments (seconds) 
Define eternity (forever).

Time is ticking
Every second does count.

azure celestial sphere

I have to avoid being so caught up in wanting love that I forget the things I do love that are gifts every single day?

the wind.

i love it.

it is exhilarating.

the sky.

i love it.

It's fascinating to me.

I could take pictures of just the sky and be happy except for the fact that the camera never really captures the full effect of the grander!

i was not created to settle.

I was not created to settle.

I am not settled when I am settling.

Because I am only fighting against who I was created to be.

All it takes for a revival to happen is the Spirit of God and ONE person who wants it.

God will come and He will change you.

Personal revivals - awakenings of the heart and spirit - are the most impacting.

The way God is so engaged in our little lives is mind boggling.

"Tell me, do we want more?/

Cause we've heard the cry/

and we've come alive/and we fight for love/

and we live to die...we've come alive tonight/

we are the passion

we are the movement

we are the fire

we'll never lose it"

life goes on.

bands break up

products get discontinued

and life goes on.

people make you happy

people make you sad

people pass on before you.

but, life goes on.

sometimes it rains

sometimes it pours

sometimes the sky holds out and the ground threatens to crack.

and life goes on...

...but sometimes it doesn't

someone's child died today, right in this very city.

someone's baby won't ever see the daylight.

someone's left crying and trying to say goodbye.

life goes on.

and somewhere a baby was born, healthy, crying.

someone's attempted suicide was stopped.

someone fell to their knees and found grace.

change isn't fun.

God isn't shaken.

life is a gift.

heaven is a gift.

life will go on.

sometimes it's the moment when you think it's over; or you will never find the strength to stand back up or keep on moving that makes you the strongest.

oh the roommates i've had...

I realize there is some risk to posting this on the great world wide web (or is it the: wonderful world wagon...wisdom willing wanderer or maybe...west winter wasp?)

ehem, I digress.

Anywho, living with people is a joy and a challenge, some days are good, other experiences can be hell... (without the fire and worm, thankfully...)

FYI= I am writing this in a very facetious manner - I don't hate anyone, think of this as a comedic sketch. :-) You have been forewarned!

Situation numero uno:

me=17 yrs old

them = 3 very different girls from around the U.S.

lasted 1 month.

2 - snored like freight trains (this is not an exaggeration).

1 - slept 3 feet from me (whilst snoring like a freight train)

1 - stole my friends, threw their clothes on my side and talked incessantly

all 3 complained.

oh, and there was a bag of rotten potatoes under our sink... you don't understand that reeking odor unless you've smelled it. (that part was my fault).

Situation #2:

5 girls

1 - The engaged-to-be-married controlling, pessimist...

(I couldn't even turn the light on when I woke up in the morning if she was sleeping!)

1 - Miss Post-Trib, Laughing, Bookworm

1 - Miss head-over-heals-in-love-emotional-inside-introvert-outside-extrovert-i-never-wash-my-sheets-etc-etc

ah... and there were two others, but I think you get the picture.

Situation #3:

I was in 1 ROOM.

0nly for 5 weeks - Praise Jesus!

1- The facebook-poll taker, in love with the boy who lived above us

(would stand on bed and sing love to the ceiling) again, I say, non of this is made-up!

oh, and she called me a "heifer" ...and I laughed!

1- Miss unadmitted-drama-queen-but-everyone-loves-me-cause-I-am-cool

After that I didn't have a school-roomate situation for a while, until

next- I lived with (#4) a girl, Beijing born and raised, (...and we had the same birthday).

Through all this there is my cousin, who knows me better than anyone beyond my immediate family, pretty much definitely my best friend, we have lived together on and off and I'm pretty sure at this point, we could work through anything and still love each other bonkers-much...

So, at least it's good to know there is hope ;-). Because, at some point, here I'm going to willingly agree to marry a man I love and then will come...living in a house with him... sharing a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom...Well, Praise the Lord that love covers a multitude of sins!

joking, joking ;)

Praise the Lord for his present provision.

I don't know where I'm going to live in a few months,

don't know if I'll have roommates or live alone.

But, God promised to provide, so I will believe.

twirl

writing makes me feel alive...

... & twirling is one of my favorite things to do.

just wanted to put that out there

:-D

- Anna

true love exists.

I know every woman needs to believe she's beautiful.
Even if men tell her she is... it wont make a difference unless she believe it first.

I know every woman wants to believe she is beautiful to men,

but really deep down... she wants to be loved, known and accepted for who she is

beyond skin depth.

Sadly we girls have been told to believe, from our shallow society, that we'll only get love for the outward from these guys who only care about their body.

Men have got to wake up.
Women have got to wake up.
We all have to stand up and face reality.

A beauty could be destroyed in an instant
Guys have got to stop ranking girls.

Girls have got to stop faking and fearing.
We have to gain our security from God and shine from the inside out.

Enough with our fantasies.
True love exists, beyond fireworks, stomachs butterflies, or racing heartbeats.

True love exists. It exists in a choice, a commitment, a battle, a decision.
In sacrifice...

It exists in the long run, not the snap shot.

part of me.

part of me.

wants...

to.

abandon this world.

forever.

and fly above.

to another world.

where i belong.

i'm such an alien here.

part of me.

knows.

the race isn't over.

even tho.

the battle is won.

my time's not done.

this part wants.

to stay and live.

not.

just.

exist.

be all.

i.

can.

be.

live with eyes.

open wide.

this.

part of me.

loves.

this part of me.

cries.

awaken.

this.

part of me...

unity?

"My prayer is not for them (the disciples) alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me though their message, that

all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in You.

May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me.

May they be bought to

complete unity to

let the world know that

you sent me and have

loved them even as you have

loved me."

-Prayer of Jesus, John 17:20-23

I get so frustrated when I see how much we are segregated and divided in the body of Christ. I wish we could truly be all-in-this-together.

I wish we were not divided by doctrine, theology and differing scriptural interpretation.

I wish it could be enough to be a Christ-follower and that we were not segregated into other groups - subcultures within "Christendom".

I don't despise particular denominations - I simply cannot stand the different amount of views there are in competition - DIVIDING US - within this church...

What is ridiculous to me is this:

Many of the doctrines which divide us WILL NOT MATTER once we all get to heaven!

i.e. the doctrine of salvation is a HUGE dividing factor in the church! Calvinists, Armenians, and all in-between!

1. If we ARE sharing the gospel while we are on this earth

&

2. We WILL all (both sides) be in heaven together -

then - WHY does it even matter??? God's will and purpose will be carried out regardless of what we believe about HOW OR WHY!

Jesus prayed for us to be unified (there, we would be the strongest witness to the world); I see us as the opposite of unified...

There, obviously, has got to be one truth.

Obviously, both sides of these arguments use scripture to "back-up" their interpretations.

AND both believe they are right.

Frankly, I don't believe man can fully comprehend or explain God's ways...

What we thought won't matter in the end. There won't be a crown for the Calvinists or the Armenians declaring "who was right", we will all be on our knees in AWE before our Creator.

Don't misunderstand me, what we believe here IS crucial because it shapes our view of God and effects the way we live, but these beliefs that become dividing forces are not advancing the cause of Christ or the gospel of Jesus!

This saddens and frustrates me!

I wish it was a perfect world where we all got along. I feel like if any of us should be at peace and IN love with one another, it should be US (those who claim to know Him).

I want to pray, like Jesus did, for us to be brought into unity.

But, when I first thought of praying, my first reaction was to brush off the idea, because unity seems too far gone. I don't see it getting better.

But then I thought -

Jesus (God himself) prayed for us to be brought into unity.

God already could see

how we would end up

and yet Jesus still prayed that in the WILL OF THE FATHER!

So, who am I to say my prayers would be worth nothing, or null and void?

If Jesus himself prayed for us to become unified, why shouldn't I too?

Anyway, sort of a long rant to say something simple,

if you read this far - thank you :) hope it made sense in your noggin!

Anna

all that you've got

Every time I see this, I think of God; right there in the heat of the battle with us, willing us to win, urging us to press on to the finish line...

The race is hard, but our "momentary afflictions" do not compare with the reward of pressing on!

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

He is Higher than any other!

Those the LORD has rescued will return.

They will enter Zion with singing;

everlasting joy will crown their heads.

Gladness and joy will overtake them,

and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

“I, even I, am he who comforts you.

Who are you that you fear mere mortals,

human beings who are but grass,

that you forget the LORD your Maker,

who stretches out the heavens

and who lays the foundations of the earth,

that you live in constant terror every day

because of the wrath of the oppressor,

who is bent on destruction?

For where is the wrath of the oppressor?

The cowering prisoners will soon be set free;

they will not die in their dungeon,

nor will they lack bread.

For I am the LORD your God,

who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—

the LORD Almighty is his name.

I have put my words in your mouth

and covered you with the shadow of my hand—

I who set the heavens in place,

who laid the foundations of the earth,

and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people.’”...

...Therefore hear this, you afflicted one,

made drunk, but not with wine.

This is what your Sovereign LORD says,

your God, who defends his people:

“See, I have taken out of your hand

the cup that made you stagger;

from that cup, the goblet of my wrath,

you will never drink again.

I will put it into the hands of your tormentors,

who said to you,

‘Fall prostrate that we may walk on you.’

And you made your back like the ground,

like a street to be walked on.”

Isaiah 51:11-16,21-23

good deeds=selfish me VS. grace=humbled servant

Recently, I was confronted with how many people think they will get into heaven through living right or doing good-deeds. People count-out Jesus. Jesus, who IS the very reason we have access to the Father, the reason we get into Heaven, He is our righteousness!

I realized:

IF our salvation IS based on our own deeds, that knowledge can breed self-indulgence, self-gratification, self-reliance, and selfishness. Notice, all these begin with “self"…

If we believe our salvation is reliant on our behavior, than "self " is at the foundation of our salvation. If self is at the foundation of our salvation, we have freedom to live as we please...Even if that means living a life contrary to God.

We can think, "I do a little good and do a little bad"... thinking we will "make up" later for the foolish things we do, or that we will undergo punishment before actually getting into heaven. This is indeed a twisted mindset!

If SELF is the one to rely on for salvation, we are put at a distance from God, What is His great mercy? Where is the WONDER that comes from His great Grace?

The opposite of this is realizing that our salvation is a FREE GIFT from a God who accepts us wherever we are. And, we could never earn the deep, bottomless, genuine, unconditional, undeserved LOVE that has been lavished on us.

If someone gives you something you haven't earned & DO NOT deserve, your desire should be to do everything in your power to please them, even though nothing you were given is based on your merit. This concept of receiving what is underserved should inspire humbleness, and servitude, not selfishness.

Salvation doesn't depend on your works. But, this is not a license to sin. Because salvation is free, we are in total dependence on God, asked to die to the almighty "self".

If my salvation depended on me, my life would be my own.However, I AM NOT my own, I was bought with a price and I am to glorify God in this life I live.

Grace takes my eyes off of me, changes my view...

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

God, how often do I live like your grace is untrue and I am the one in control?Foolish me who you have loved and cherished! Help us, God to not forget You and Your truth in our frailty. You have made us, you see us, you know us, You love us! Oh, take heart friends!

Because He has overcome,

Anna